Mama of Both...the Mom Guilt Hand-Me Down's Edition and How Commodore Got His Own Bedroom.

Once again, this shouldn't be an emotional post, but here we are...

If anyone told me that I would have had a girl first, I would have told them that they were crazy. Every fiber in my being had told me I was having a boy. Everthing I pinned on Pinterest was boy related and all the nurseries I was saving were of the navy and gray nature. Good thing I love gender-neutral and pretty much kept the status quo when my "not a boy" was born. When pregnant with the Commodore (who was supposed to be Danilyn) my amazing telepathy skills kicked in and I saved every outfit I loved of EV's that she grew out of or never got a chance to wear for my incoming daughter. Imagine my surprise and to the amusement of our sonographer that in fact THIS time, I was having a boy. Good thing I hadn't started my 1-900 psychic hotline yet or else it would have fizzled out before it started.

Good grief! We had so much stuff, and I admit I was a little bummed that many of the girl dresses that I loved would continue to go unused (I ended up saving some just for reminders and others I have in a basket with other shirts I love to make another quilt for EV and Commodore down the road). However, as mentioned, I love a good gender-neutral and we had bought a bunch of shirts for EV that could go either way (thanks Target for all the amazing rock, Star Wars, and superhero graphic t-shirts). I put a lot of care in to how I take care of their clothes so that they pretty much look brand new up until they grow out of it. I was excited that so many of the shirts that I loved on EV could be passed on and that I would be able to see it on the Commodore. EV still rocks the gender neutral when it comes to her dresses with faves always being the First Order and her "Papa" Vader.

Darth Vader Dress via Presley Couture and First Order Dress via TaylorJoelleDesign

Sometimes it feels strange shopping online because EV a 100% has her own developed personality with likes and dislikes which makes it so easy to shop for and I get excited about every little thing I can present her with, but with Commodore I have to make sure that I get something else or and additional of whatever I am purchasing for EV so that he does not feel left out (no longer is he a babe that doesn't recognize when I give something to EV and not him). This may seem silly to some, but I think it is easy with so many of the hand-me down's that have passed on to get caught up in the "he can share it too". I want him to be able to feel he has things of his own and that he can like other things that are beyond EV's interests. Is that weird to want to pass on to a not even two year old? Am I even making sense or rambling at this point?

He has officially become old enough to have a personality and boy is it a fiery one at that. Right now it seems to be of the "if my sister loves it, I love it" thought process. He shows an affinity for Mathbox Cars and Mickey, but his new word/phrase is "Doc Doc" for Doc McStuffins. His sisters adoration for this show has passed on to him. Even if his sister is napping and he is up, if he gets to choose, it is still the "Doc Doc". I do not think I realized the ease of picking up things for EV and how it was affecting me when it came to the Commodore. Of course he has plenty of clothes that we continue to purchase form him as he is now at that age and size where the hand-down's are at the cusp of being hand-me over's and he is plenty fun to shop for as I always did prefer the boy section over the girls, but I am looking forward to the day when he can tell me the things he loves and looks forward to getting.

As we have been closing out on all the renovations in the house (literally other then when the washing machines that the house came with konk out and we redo the laundry room there is nothing else), Sean and I have just been doing some minor things like moving pictures around, getting rid of items that we had been intentionally holding on to, but knew it was time to get rid of and other small things that we had also wanted to do, but now felt that the house looked the way we wanted so it was the time to do it. During the big closet renovation of 2020, we bought THIS really nice Ikea dresser (I love the hardware and the molding). We had intended to ditch a spray painted turquoise bookshelf that we had had from our apartment days (it was literally the last piece of our dating furniture that we had left) and put the new dresser in it's place.

Ikea said we needed a second set of hands so here we are....they are pretty cute albeit they get distracted pretty easily

The turquoise bookshelf had all of Seans old-school videogames (we have all of his gaming units...Sega, Atari, Nintendo, etc. in the living room), some of our favorite books, picture frames, etc. and Commodore had been akin to taking everything off the shelves and putting it back on. One, it was time to get rid of the shelf as everyday it had become exhausting making sure everything was back on and two, it didn't go with anything in the room and in time this was supposed to be Commodore's bedroom and not a catch-all, homeoffice, guest bedroom, etc. The Ikea dresser really started it all and became the momentum we needed to really get the room looking more like a toddler's bedroom. We had a beautiful wooden hopechest that was used for storage (mostly the throw pillows that Hubs hated) and that we had gotten at a thrift store for $5 and was being used as a coffee table. Once the dresser was in the bedroom and the bookshelf on the swale outside for bulk pickup (#byebyeyouth) for the timebeing we transfered everything from the bookshelf into the dresser. All of Commodore's clothing fits in his closet, so he doesn't really need the space right now and we do.

With the hopechest gone, I was reinvigorated to complete everything else. We moved some of EV's infant Star Wars artwork into Commodore's room since we had several Star Wars art pieces from indie artists that we were saving for "just in case's" and we were able to create more of a Star Wars gallery wall.

I love the above pieces from Karen Hallion (the queen of mashups in my opinion) which are a Star Wars and Haunted Mansion mash-up and we just never had the space or the area for them so we were both thrilled with how it came out and what it looked like. It was amazing the space that was available with just having a dresser and the hopechest removed from the room.

Excuse the mess on the bed we were cleaning up the last of "our" things and yes that is a Han Solo carbonite rug in his bedroom...

I decorated his bed with all of his "lovies" that had been in EV's room and I bought two of THESE baskets from Target. If you see these, GRAB. THEM. The quality is amazing, they are HUGE for $30 (I was shocked at the sticker price considering how pricey some of their baskets can be) and I love the wooden top that is easy for the kids to remove, but yet closes in the stuffed animals from looking messy and they can use it to play on. If I do not tell you enough, I. LOVE. STORAGE. Clean, useful storage like this piece makes my heart sing. I loved it so much that I bought two. Now Commodore has one in his room and I finally found the perfect piece to house all of EV's Disney Animator Dolls. The Animator Collection dolls are the only dolls other than the soft ones from Disney that we have in the house because I am terrified of them and now they are trapped in a basket with a cover....coincidence?! I think not! I love the way the their lovies look in the basket and it is an easy clean up of tossing everything in and closing the lid. I also felt that it was a piece that drew everything else we had in the Commodore's room together and made it look like a toddler bedroom as we still needed the Hubs desk and his computer for office work and he was not officially in there yet as there is a regular bed in their sans rails.

I do not know how to explain the feeling I felt when Commodore kept running in and out of the room and laying on is Han Solo carbonite rug (LOL). He adored the space and kept looking at all the things he knew were his and were now in his space. It is weird how we knew it was going to be his, but watching it come to fruition when it wasn't even planned to do so, was something else entirely. I cried. I cried that he officially had something of his very own, not something he was sharing with EV, not something passed down, but a space and place of his every own. I cried when he audibly gasped first walking in the room and seeing all of his things and then turned around to grab my finger inviting me into that space. It is something I will never ever forget and I cried when he and I just sat in there together playing and taking in all the new found space that I hadn't been able to visualize before. Who knew that with one hopechest and turquoise bookshelf gone how much brighter and freer the room would feel. I was always worried that with the smaller window and facing our neighbors that it would feel so much darker then EV's, but with just a few small modfications, it took on a brand new air.

I have realized during the pandemic that sometimes it is the smallest things that make the biggest impact and mean the most and right there in that moment, I was living the best day ever.

Although I am waiting for the day when EV is officially in her room and out of ours and she comes to realization that the Commodore has a tv in his room (formally the office) and she does not (::cue face palm emoji::).